Montezuma was the emperor of the Aztec Empire in present day Mexico from 1502-1520, when the Spanish Conquistadors invaded the region, resulting in the brutal destruction of this early civilization.
"Montezuma's Revenge" (also knows as the "Gringo Gallop" or the "Aztec two-step"), in layman's terms, refers to traveller's diarrhea. I.e. Montezuma's form of repayment for what invaders did to his empire.
I am in a bus station about to leave Cuenca.
And I am... sick.
Not sure how it started, probably something I ate or drank along the way.
Most importantly, it's here, and it does not appear to be going anywhere.
It started two days ago and has only gotten worse.
Before I came to Ecuador, I had heard that Cuenca was amazing and I was so excited to finally be here and see what all the hype was about.
However, it's rather hard to enjoy a new city when you're, shall we say, "struck with the urge" every 45 minutes and have to scramble around to find a bathroom.
And that whole "not all foreign bathrooms have toilet paper available, so carry some with you" memo that I gave you guys?
I should remember to listen to my own advice.
Let's leave it at that, shall we?
All I really want to do is lie in bed and watch Netflix on my phone, but instead we're taking a 9 hour overnight bus across the border and into Peru.
So I've been popping probiotic tablets and chugging gatorade in the hopes of kicking whatever stomach bacteria I have obtained, but it doesn't seem to be helping much.
Update: Just got on the bus and the sign on the bathroom door says "solo orinar."
Translation: only for urinating.
Fantastic.
Not to mention we're sitting right next to aforementioned bathroom with smells very strongly of stale piss.
So this should be interesting.
But anyway, onwards to Peru (as long as I don't die of dysentery along the way)!
Touche, Montezuma.
Tou-fucking-che.
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