Three years ago, I sat at a desk in a hotel group sales office in Asheville, North Carolina and wrote a list of 22 lessons I had learned at 22. I was young. I was fresh into the world of post-grad life. I was enthusiastic. And, in that moment, I unknowingly began what was to become a bit of an annual tradition.
The writing of "23" took place on a sunny, spring day on my parents' porch in rural Vermont and "24" took place at a desk on the other side of the world in Siem Reap, Cambodia where I was living (and sweating) at the time.
With just over a fortnight to go before my 26th birthday, I decided it was time to starting thinking of my "25 Lessons".
First, I decided to take a walk down memory lane as I re-read all of the "lessons I have learned" over the course of the last three years. There were a few repeats, a lot of yoga references, a lot of tequila wisdom, and I won't lie, there were a few lessons that were more than worthy of a dramatic eye-roll.
It was also kind of sweet in a way to look back and remember how various tidbits reflected different things that were going on in my life as I was writing those lists and there were certainly a few moments that had me saying to myself - "Shit, I really should have taken my own advice on that one."
As lists are so regimented and as I have far, far too many different lists in my head, on my phone, and in various journals lying around my apartment at the moment (hello, chaos old friend), I've decided to take a different spin on "25" and approach it more as a reflection on the last year of my life rather than a list of 25 goofy, half-true lessons I've learned. Maybe there will be 25 lessons woven in, maybe not.
But I digress.
Upon re-reading "24", I couldn't help but linger for a moment on my final words:
"You are the only person that can create change in your life. Create it. Change is good."
I think, at the time, I was referencing moving to foreign countries, having life-changing experiences, and I think (a little bit) I was trying to convince myself of something (but I won't get into that here).
The funny thing is that I don't really feel like I did much to create those changes.
Sure, I decided to move to Turkey.
Sure, I bought plane tickets.
But, aside from those very direct decisions, purchases, and actions, I was really at the mercy of the situations around me and I let those circumstances sweep me along until I reached a point where I felt totally adrift in the world. I felt alone, disconnected, and totally lost.
So, I came home.
And ironically, coming back to the house I grew up in and opening my noisy bedroom door and hugging my family and walking my dog down Chelsea Road and driving on Eagle Hollow and eating my Mom's salsa was the catalyst for the change that I actually needed.
And I was able to start to take control of my life again.
And I've been doing a lot more of the things that I really love to do.
And I think there's something to be said for that...
And sometimes I feel like, in such a fucked up world, I'm able to find some solace in taking control of my life and who I am and taking steps towards making myself a better person (whatever that may mean).
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that this has all been a massively boring overshare.
But these are thoughts (lessons, if you will) that have been drifting around in my head for the last couple of months and it's been really therapeutic to put them into words.
So thank you to anyone who stuck with this one through to the finish, y'all are the REALEST and *hopefully* this is the beginning of me posting more than bi-annually (if I keep saying it, then it will happen, right?).
For the sake of tradition, I'll close with two distinct lessons that I have learned -
One being not to regret things and to find value in all of your experiences.
The second being that drinking half a bottle of wine and two vodka martinis the night before you open at 6:30am is still a terrible idea at *nearly* 26.
There are some things that you can change and some things that just probably never will.
Lots of love.
-K
The writing of "23" took place on a sunny, spring day on my parents' porch in rural Vermont and "24" took place at a desk on the other side of the world in Siem Reap, Cambodia where I was living (and sweating) at the time.
With just over a fortnight to go before my 26th birthday, I decided it was time to starting thinking of my "25 Lessons".
First, I decided to take a walk down memory lane as I re-read all of the "lessons I have learned" over the course of the last three years. There were a few repeats, a lot of yoga references, a lot of tequila wisdom, and I won't lie, there were a few lessons that were more than worthy of a dramatic eye-roll.
It was also kind of sweet in a way to look back and remember how various tidbits reflected different things that were going on in my life as I was writing those lists and there were certainly a few moments that had me saying to myself - "Shit, I really should have taken my own advice on that one."
As lists are so regimented and as I have far, far too many different lists in my head, on my phone, and in various journals lying around my apartment at the moment (hello, chaos old friend), I've decided to take a different spin on "25" and approach it more as a reflection on the last year of my life rather than a list of 25 goofy, half-true lessons I've learned. Maybe there will be 25 lessons woven in, maybe not.
But I digress.
Upon re-reading "24", I couldn't help but linger for a moment on my final words:
"You are the only person that can create change in your life. Create it. Change is good."
I think, at the time, I was referencing moving to foreign countries, having life-changing experiences, and I think (a little bit) I was trying to convince myself of something (but I won't get into that here).
The funny thing is that I don't really feel like I did much to create those changes.
Sure, I decided to move to Turkey.
Sure, I bought plane tickets.
But, aside from those very direct decisions, purchases, and actions, I was really at the mercy of the situations around me and I let those circumstances sweep me along until I reached a point where I felt totally adrift in the world. I felt alone, disconnected, and totally lost.
So, I came home.
And ironically, coming back to the house I grew up in and opening my noisy bedroom door and hugging my family and walking my dog down Chelsea Road and driving on Eagle Hollow and eating my Mom's salsa was the catalyst for the change that I actually needed.
And I was able to start to take control of my life again.
I'm definitely not trying to say that everything is hunky-dory and perfect. Of course it's not.
I am a human being and the world is a really fucked up place.
But I've been laughing a lot more.
And I've been doing a lot more of the things that I really love to do.
And I think there's something to be said for that...
And sometimes I feel like, in such a fucked up world, I'm able to find some solace in taking control of my life and who I am and taking steps towards making myself a better person (whatever that may mean).
Anyway, I'm pretty sure that this has all been a massively boring overshare.
But these are thoughts (lessons, if you will) that have been drifting around in my head for the last couple of months and it's been really therapeutic to put them into words.
So thank you to anyone who stuck with this one through to the finish, y'all are the REALEST and *hopefully* this is the beginning of me posting more than bi-annually (if I keep saying it, then it will happen, right?).
For the sake of tradition, I'll close with two distinct lessons that I have learned -
One being not to regret things and to find value in all of your experiences.
The second being that drinking half a bottle of wine and two vodka martinis the night before you open at 6:30am is still a terrible idea at *nearly* 26.
There are some things that you can change and some things that just probably never will.
Lots of love.
-K
Living life is never easy, even if you think it will be and there is no magical age of knowing everything. It took me too long to understand that. So, when you find yourself coveting another pair of Frye boots that you just can't "live without'...get them...because they'll always make you happy. Frye boots don't disappoint.
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